Make parallel worker shutdown complete entirely via before_shmem_exit().

Make parallel worker shutdown complete entirely via before_shmem_exit().

This is a step toward storing stats in dynamic shared memory. As dynamic
shared memory segments are detached from just after before_shmem_exit()
callbacks are processed, but before on_shmem_exit() callbacks are, no stats
can be collected after before_shmem_exit() callbacks have been processed.

Parallel worker shutdown can cause stats to be emitted during DSM detach
callbacks, e.g. for SharedFileSet (which closes its files, which can causes
fd.c to emit stats about temporary files). Therefore parallel worker shutdown
needs to complete during the processing of before_shmem_exit callbacks.

One might think this problem could instead be solved by carefully ordering the
attaching to DSM segments, so that the pgstats segments get detached from
later than the parallel query ones. That turns out to not work because the
stats hash might need to grow which can cause new segments to be
allocated, which then will be detached from earlier.

There are two code changes:

First, call ParallelWorkerShutdown() via before_shmem_exit. That's a good idea
on its own, because other shutdown callbacks like ShutdownPostgres and
ShutdownAuxiliaryProcess are called via before_*.

Second, explicitly detach from the parallel query DSM segment, thereby
ensuring all stats are emitted during ParallelWorkerShutdown().

There are nicer solutions to these problems, but it's not obvious which of
those solutions is the correct one. As the shared memory stats work already is
a huge amount of work...

Author: Andres Freund <andres@anarazel.de>
Discussion: https://postgr.es/m/20210405092914.mmxqe7j56lsjfsej@alap3.anarazel.de
Discussion: https://postgr.es/m/20210803023612.iziacxk5syn2r4ut@alap3.anarazel.de