Fix misuse of RelOptInfo.unique_for_rels cache by SJE

Fix misuse of RelOptInfo.unique_for_rels cache by SJE

When SJE uses RelOptInfo.unique_for_rels cache, it passes filtered quals to
innerrel_is_unique_ext().  That might lead to an invalid match to cache entries
made by previous non self-join checking calls.  Add UniqueRelInfo.self_join
flag to prevent such cases.  Also, fix that SJE should require a strict match
of outerrelids to make sure UniqueRelInfo.extra_clauses are valid.

Reported-by: Alexander Lakhin
Discussion: https://postgr.es/m/4788f781-31bd-9796-d7d6-588a751c8787%40gmail.com